“Do NOT Make Your Buyers Feel Like Hairy Monkeys!”
by R. Preston Ely
Times they are a changin’.
Whereas in 2005 finding a buyer for your wholesale deal was as easy as Alyssa Milano in Poison Ivy II, we are now faced with a much more challenging predicament. I have personally coined this annoying situation as “Reality.”
“Reality” sucks. We all know this. Normally I can effortlessly bend it to my will, but it’s actually putting up a pretty good fight this time. You see, what I want it to do is put things back the way they were a couple years ago. A couple years ago, if I so much as sneezed I would have rehabbers (buyers) lined up around the block thinking that was a secret signal that “the deal was in,” or something. Here’s a typical scenario from “back in the day” (which was a Wednesday by the way):
Rehabber #1: He sneezed. It’s on!
Rehabber #2: Oh hellz yeah. It probably has at least $9,000 of equity in it just like the last one. I’m paying cash.
Rehabber #37: You guys are idiots. He has a cold. It doesn’t mean anything (as he secretly shimmeys his way closer to me while butting everyone else in line).
Rehabber #1: How do you have that much cash?
Rehabber#2: I refinanced my house and pulled the equity out.
Duh. Where does anyone get money from these days? Idiot. I bought my house in 1999 for $125,000,and it just appraised for $750,000. I did a 125% LTV cash out re-fi with negative amortization at .0027% APR so my payment is only $1.75 a month. They wrote me a check for over $600,000. Cool huh? Have you seen my new boat?
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